Ashington Translator

28 Mar 2014

I’ve had this for a long time and have been meaning to make a page out of it but never got round to it. Finally here it is. This was originally published in one of the NE newspapers (maybe Evening Chronicle or Journal) so I claim none of it as my own work. I don’t even have a date for the article but it’s next to one about England fans being prevented from taking flag poles into Sunderland’s Stadium of Light for a friendly match with Belgium.

I only live a short drive from Ashington but my accent is totally different (although some people say I have a strong accent) so for those wanting to venture to the world’s largest mining village and the birth place of legends Jackie Milburn and Bobby & Jackie Charlton here is a handy aide memoir to translation.

Word Meaning in English Meaning in Ashington
Aches Pains Something to chop wood (Axe)
Ale Beer Every / everyone (All)
Bail Security given to court Kicked in a football match (Ball)
Beard Facial hair What you sleep in (Bed)
Blur Become vague Expel air from your mouth
Blurb Advertising Contraceptive
Borst German soup Shatter / break (Burst)
Braid Interwoven hair Used for toast (Bread)
Close Nearby What you wear (Clothes)
Dug Past tense of Animal that barks (Dog)
Fern Plant Telephone (Phone)
Fete Gala Small Italian car (Fiat)
Flame Burning Mucous / Phlegm
Flirt Toy with affections Float
Fuel Petrol etc. Idiot (Fool)
Herb Plant Top of a cooker (Hob)
Here In this place A large rabbit (Hare)
Hornier Sexier Groin strain (Hernia)
Hurt Injure High temperature (Hot)
Kerb Edge of pavement Junior scout (Cub)
Kilt Scottish dress Cause the death of (Kill)
Laird Scottish noble Boy (Lad)
Lame Crippled Young sheep (Lamb)
Pain Hurt Cooking utensil (Pan)
Perm Hair style Story in verse (Poem)
Pork Meat coming from a pig Benefit of your job (Perk)
Sex Gender Coal bags (Sacks)
Shirk Avoid or dodge duties Surprise or charged with electricity (Shock)
Shirt Clothing Closed (Shut)
Short Brief Clothing (Shirt)
Skirt Clothing Scottish native (Scot)
Smirk Grin Have a cigarette (Smoke)
Stern Strict Large rock (Stone)
Tech Normally associated with a College Acquire something illegally (Take)
Term Period of time Short for Thomas (Tom)
Terrain Ground Railway (Train)
Tool Implement Drying cloth (Towel)
Trek Journey Railway lines (Track)
Turd Dog mess Toad
Turtle Animal The whole amount (Total)
Vain Conceited Ford Transit (Van)
Wear River at Sunderland To ask directions (Were)
Whirl Spin Comes from a sheep (Wool)

I like the article’s final quote which says one Ashington man responded with this indignation

De ye knaa what it is? Neebody taaks like that up wor way